There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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