Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
