I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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