You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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