I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I haven't been this sober since birth.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
