idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
