wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
