Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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