guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
