4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
My vagina just recognized that song.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He? As in you personified your dick?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
