I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you win again, gameday.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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