when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Dear god my vagina.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
