what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Randomize
