Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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