Just fell off a train. Bad.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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