So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
