All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
