Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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