Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Randomize
