yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
