I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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