i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
