Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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