The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
