i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
