she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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