i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
