she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize