You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
So much Jack, so little girl.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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