that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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