How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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