I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
