That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
