is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
