You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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