So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
