I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
