You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
