awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
