Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
