I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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