I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize