yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
