making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
