This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
