You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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