you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
