Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Randomize
