I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
