i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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