Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
