so explain again why im purple
no
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize