Me too!
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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