I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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