and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
