I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
