Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
