I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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