I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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