no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
