what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize