i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
