Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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