Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
