I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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